A breath of fresh air 2
by lauracd1
Summary: Hi! I'm lauracd (I had to create a new account...long story).This is the second part of my story "A breath of fresh air"...I'm posting the first part (That I've already posted here ages ago) and I'll continue the ff.It starts a few weeks after 2x15. Jane and Maura are not on speaking terms. Pain and guilt are keeping them apart. But something unexpected happens.Maura is shot and...
1. Chapter 1

_**Hi everyone! **_

_**I'm **__**lauracd**__** but I don't know why I just couldn't log in with my old data so I had to create a new account in order to finally continue my story...I'm sorry it took me so long. I hope you'll read and like it! I'm sorry for the mistakes...English is not my first language.**_

_**Here's the first part of the story "A breath of fresh air" and then I'm posting a new chapter.**_

_**Stay "tuned" for more!**_

_**Review are more then welcome! **_

CHAPTER 1

Maura was tossing and turning in her bed.

It was 4 in the morning and she was wide awake.

She tried every trick in the book. She counted the sheep, she repeted each element in the periodic table, she recited all the bones of the human body in alphabetical order... but nothing happened.

Sleep was sidestepping her again.

It has been the same every night, for too many nights.

She couldn't put her mind to rest.

She seemed unable to stop thinking about that day.

Images of Jane with that gun in her hands, shooting Patrick Doyle; images of her father on the ground, bleeding, looking at her with a plead in his eyes were filling her head.

It was like going back in time. Everything, every action was vividly replaying in her eyes.

Maura Isles was there all over again, kneeling near Patrick Doyle, trying to save his life and pushing away the person that meant the most to her. The person that was still meaning the most to her in spite of what had happened.

And Jane's eyes. The look her best friend gave her in that moment was so defenceless, so terrified, so surprised, so pained.

Maura had been thinking about that moment day and night.

A lot happened since then.

Her father was dead.

She was calling Patrick Doyle her father now. She was considering him her father even though she already had one.

Patrick Doyle had been a bad man. He had been a merciless criminal. He had taken so many lives. But, in his own twisted way, she knew that he had loved her dearly.

Her reaction when she saw Jane shooting him had surprised her. She wasn't aware of being so attached to that man till she saw him die.

It was difficult to explain, it was difficult to understand, even for her, but she could feel it inside.

She had never let her heart rule her brain; she had never let her heart decide.

But, in that split second, when she heard the shot, when she saw Doyle falling to the ground, she felt her heart break. Jane broke it.

In that instant she had been so angry, so disappointed, so hurt by Jane's actions.

– My best friend has betrayed me. She hasn't kept her word. Jane has put her job and Dean before me. She doesn't care about me. I'm alone. I've lost her -.

But those thoughts had floated in her mind only for a handful of seconds.

The pain, the fear and the love she saw in Jane's eyes eraised all the hurt and the rage.

But it had been too late.

"Don't touch him! I mean it! Don't you dare touch him!"

Those terrible words had been spoken. The look she gave Jane, so firce, so full of anger, betrayal, sorrow and dispair had been powerful.

Jane had been pierced by it.

It had been three weeks.

Three long, painful, uneventful, terrible weeks.

She couldn't sleep, she couldn't eat, she couldn't smile.

Yes, she could still breath...but every breath was excruciating.

She saw Jane every day at the office but it had been three weeks since she had heard her beautiful, raspy, unique, sensual voice.

They hadn't spoken a word to one another in what seemed like an eternity.

And she didn't know why.

They exchanged long, meaningful, eloquent look. It was all.

They wanted to be close to one another, they wanted to touch one another, they wanted to be there for one another, to share a laugh, a hug, to share a tear, to know how their day had been. It was clear, it was spoken in those stares.

But their pride, their stubborness, their fear prevented them from actually speaking those feeling aloud.

And so it had been three weeks.

The words that had been difficult to utter that damn day were now impossible to speak.

The rift that had opened between them that damn day was now as large as the Grand Canyon, or it seemed, to them at least.

But, as the saying goes, something good always comes from bad things.

And something good really came.

Maura realized the truth.

Maura Isles was in love with Jane Rizzoli.

She was certain of that.

A pain so devastating could only be caused by an equally devastating and powerful love.

The time apart made her realize that being without Jane was torture. She missed her eyes, her voice, her touch, her unique scent, her humor and her heart. She missed everything Jane Rizzoli was.

Being able to see her everyday without being able to connect with her was killing Maura.

It was true, after all: you don't know what you've got untill it's gone.

Even at the office everything had changed. The lightness, the banter, the warmth that permeated the place before the accident were gone, replaced by silence.

Every time Maura and Jane were in the same room together with their friends a veil of embarassment came down. Everyone was walking on tiptoes around them.

Jane was thinner, sad, pale, lifeless.

Maura was silent. Her make up was flawed, her dresses and her shoes didn't match. She was the shadow of herself.

Everyone in the office knew what was happening and everyone was affected by it.

With all these thoughts filling her head, Maura decided that a breath of fresh air was needed. She needed to clear her mind.

She had to do something.

She had to find her way back to her best friend.

She had to find a way to be with the woman she loved more than life itself.

She got up.

She walked into her wardrobe and put on a pair of leggins, a pair of flat shoes and a simple white shirt. She didn't care for apparences anymore. She put on a jacket, took her bag and headed for the garage.

Twenty minutes later she had parked her car and was walking towards a grocery shop.

Their favourite grocery shop.

It was opened day and night. It was near Jane's home.

It always took them no more than five minutes to walk there.

She wanted a beer. Jane's beer. She needed something to feel closer to her.

She entered the shop and started walking down the aisles thinking about what Jane would have bought if she had been there. Beer, marshmallows, chocolate, bacon...delicious unhealty things. Her favourites.

The ring of the bell attached to the door suggested the arrival of a new customer.

She istinctively turned her attention to the tall woman that had just entered the shop when something caught her eyes.

Something shining.

A gun.

2

Something bad was about to happen. She was sure.

Maura wasn't a hero. There was a thin line separating courage and stupidity.

She was clever enough not to cross that line.

But Maura wasn't a coward either.

She wanted to help. She needed to help in every way she could. Surely she wouldn't jump in and disarm the bad guy or, in this case, the bad woman.

Leave it to Jane to do reckless heroic things.

Maura was in the shadows, hiding behind a shelf full of cans of coke and bottles of beer.

The woman couldn't be able to see her. If she was there to grab some money and run she would hardly walk around the place and waste precious time. She would go straight to the counter, take the money and flee.

It was hope speaking.

Maura's brain was telling a different story.

There was something odd.

The stereotype of a robber was embodied by a man. Not by a woman. Statistics, studies said and proved that.

She hoped with all her heart that this woman knew what she was doing. There was nothing worst than a criminal letting panic and fear rule them.

Maura, on the contrary, was a very controlled person.

She always tried to be rational, to weight all the options, she always tried to analize a situation and focus, to behave properly. Her instinct was often letf

unheard.

She was afraid. Only a fool wouldn't be.

She was also aware that there was a realistic possibility of something going wrong in that shop.

She couldn't control the situation and she hated losing control.

She considered herself a pretty strong person. She was balanced and rational but she had a weakness. Her Achilles heel.

Maura was certain that she would have been terrorized and paralized by fear if Jane had been there with her. She couldn't stand the thought of losing Jane.

Images of the woman she loved lying on the ground, wounded, lifeless and the feeling of warm, thick, red liquid running through her hands would haunt her till the day she died.

Help.

She needed help. And she could think of only one person.

She carefully, as quietly as possible, rummaged in her bag for her cell phone.

She found it and she took it out.

She looked around.

The woman was in front of the counter, she was pointing the gun at the clerk. She was saying something about money. She seemed very upset. She appeared to be sweating profusely and her hands were trembling.

The doctor in Maura couldn't refrain from diagnosing the woman. Slight confusion, sweat, tremor...she could be having withdrawal symptoms.

That meant that the woman wasn't in control of herself anymore. She was unpredictable.

So Maura decided to act.

She took her phone and dialed the familiar number.

She waited.

It happened in an instant.

A beautiful voice: "Maura? Maura, are you there?"

A meow.

Something orange leapt in the corner of her eye.

A loud crash.

Quick footsteps.

A woman yelling.

A shot.

Pain.

Unbereable pain.

That voice again.

Metallic, distant, frantic, terrified: "Maura? Maura what happened?"

3

The ringing of her cell phone awaked Jane from her restless slumber.

She hadn't been able to sleep since that day.

Every time she closed her eyes she could only see Maura and that cold, deadly look in her eyes.

She took the phone from her bedside table and looked at the caller ID.

Maura.

Her Maura.

Maura was calling her in the middle of the night.

Why?

A small hope raised in her heart. Maybe Maura was finally ready to talk to her. She had been waiting for that moment for three weeks.

Jane had never felt so powerless, so hurt. Her heart was broken.

She carried on like a shadow of herself. She had lost weight. She didn't eat. She didn't sleep. She couldn't care less of her body. She needed Maura back. She need her best friend back.

Her best friend. Wasn't Maura something more than that?

She had never felt anything so strong, so meaningful for another human being in her life. She had never loved anyone that much in her life.

And it was love. She was sure.

Maura wasn't just her best friend. She was the one. The woman she was in love with.

She had felt so guilty in that three weeks. She had shooted the father of the woman she loved. She hadn't realize the dept of Maura's feelings for Patrick Doyle untill the moment.

She had felt so alone. So empty.

Maybe Maura was ready to forgive her.

She hadn't had the courage to talk to her. To explain her actions.

Truth was there was nothing to explain. There were no excuses.

She had betrayed her best friend trust. She had hurt her best friend so badly and she wasn't sure that the wound would ever heal.

She could only look at Maura and hope that her eyes could tell Maura what she was feeling, how much she was missing her, how much she loved her.

She wanted nothing more that to reach for Maura and held her so tight, till the pain went away.

Sometimes, when they found themselves looking at each other, she thought that maybe, just maybe, Maura understood her silent pleading. That Maura shared the same desires.

She frantically answered the phone: "Maura?"

On the other end of the line she could hear strange noises in the background. "Maura, are you there?"

Then she heard it.

She could have recognized that sound even if she had been deaf.

It was a shot.

Someone was shooting near Maura.

A strangled cry. A cry of pain.

Then a loud thump.

In that moment blood frroze in her veins. She was terrified. Something had happened. She could feel it in her guts.

"Maura?" she yelled in the phone.

"Maura, what happened?" she was ready to cry.

She heard a crash and then the line went dead...

4

Jane was sweating, her hands were trembling, her eyes were misty. A veil of tears was forming there.

She had never been so scared in all her life.

She tried to call her best friend again but the telephone was dead.

Maura.

Then something clicked in and she was back into action. The officer and the detective in her were alive again, taking the front seat. It wasn't the time for tears.

She had to find Maura. Immediately.

But how?

Korsak and Frost.

She dialed Korsak's number and waited anxiously for the familiar voice to answer.

After many endless instants she heard the sergeant: "Hello? Jane?" he sounded surprised.

Jane started to speak frantically, trying to say everything she had to say in a matter of seconds. She didn't want to keep her phone engaged. Maura could be trying to call her again...

"Korsak, I need you. Something happened to Maura. I need to find her Korsak. Is Frost there?"

"Jane, please, calm down. What happened to Maura?" said Korsak raising his voice.

If Jane was so agitated and so worried something was really wrong.

"Listen Korsak, there's no time. I need Frost to track down Maura's cell phone. I'm afraid it isn't going to be easy. It maybe be out of service or something like that. I can't reach her. Please, track the phone, now. I'll be there as soon as possible."

"Jane, Jane, what..." but it was too late. Jane was already gone.

"Frost, it was Rizzoli. She was very upset. She wanted you to track down Dr. Isles phone immediately. She said something had happened to Maura but she didn't say anything else. She was beside herself...She is coming here." said Korsak.

"Ok...I'll try" said Frost, with a determinated look in his eyes.

He went straight to the computer and started pressing an endless series of keys on his keyboard. Korsak was right behind him, looking at the monitor. He was tapping his fingers on the back of Frost's chair, trying to ease some tension. Waiting.

"Damn it..." said Frost, with a frustrated sigh. Silence was filling the room. The tickling of the clock a remainder of time passing by, unstoppable.

"Come on Frost..." said Korsak, trying to encourage him.

After a few moments Frost spoke again. He was resigned. He slammed his first on the table and, looking at the floor, said: "I can't trace the phone Korsak. I don't have a signal. The phone is dead. I can't do it. I'm sorry."

The two men were now thinking exactly the same thing.

What's happening?

Jane was in warrior mode.

She threw the phone on the bed and got up in a flash. She put on some random clothes: a pair of worn out jeans and a grey t-shirt. She put on her shoes, without socks; there wasn't time for that.

She took her phone, her badge and her gun and run out.

She was approching her car on the side of the road when her phone rang again.

She took it hoping to read Maura's name on the display.

No luck.

The name she read sent a shiver down her spine.

"Frankie?"

Her brother voice on the other side of the phone was low. He seemed to be esitant, shy.

"Jane...listen. Something happened..."

"Maura." she said. It wasn't a question. She knew it.

"Jane...She's..." he was looking for the right words to say. He knew how much her sister loved the doctor. He knew she was going to take the news badly. His thoughts were interrupted by Jane's cry of frustration and fear.

"Damn it, Frankie! Just tell me. What happened?" asked Jane with a commanding tone. Her voice was deep, low, cracked by the impeding tears.

"I'm at the Eat and Run... An armed robbery...Maura had been shot..."

A moment of silence followed.

Then Jane whispered: "Frankie...is she..." She didn't say the words. She couldn't possibly bring herself to say those words. It would be too much.

5

"No Jane, no!" replied immediately Frankie, trying to reassure his sister.

"She's hanging on. They took her to St. James Hospital."

A sigh of relief escaped Jane's lips and she let the tears stream down her face without restrain.

"Go, Jane...I'll be there as soon as I can" said Franie softly.

"Thank you"

Jane rushed to the hospital. She broke every rules in the book to get there as fast as her car allowed her to.

She left her it in front of the ER's doors with the keys in the ignition and sprang toward the entrance.

The nurse at the reception was reading some papers in an anonymous folder when Jane arrived running at the desk.

The nurse, a woman in her late fifties, with brown hair and a big pair of glasses on her nose, looked up at Jane when the detective started talking without waiting for an invitation.

The waiting, the tension, the fear for Maura's life were consuming her.

She needed news on Maura more than she needed her next breath.

"I'm looking for Dr. Maura Isles. She was brought here a short time ago. Gunshot wound. How is she? Where is she? I need to see her."

The nurse stood up and said kindly: "Please, calm down. Are you a relative?"

"No, I'm not a relative but I need to know something, please!" asked Jane pleadingly. Her face, stained with dry tears, was now soaked by new teardrops.

"I'm sorry. I really I'm. But I can't disclose any private information about our patients unless you're a relative. It's the regulations" she said in a calm and understanding voice.

Jane couldn't take it anymore. She exploded. She dried her face with the back of her hand in gesture of irritation and flashed the badge and gun to unknowing and blameless nurse. She hated to abuse her power but she was beyond what was right or wrong in that instant.

She roared with a fierce look in her eyes, the tone of her voice low and threatening: "Screw the regulations. I don't give a damn about it. I'm Detective Jane Rizzoli, Boston Homicide, and the woman I'm looking for works for the Police Department, too. She's the Chief Medical Examiner. I want to know where she is now!Tell me where she is or I'll arrest you for obstruction. Is that clear?"

The commotion made more than a few eyes look in their direction with curious glances.

A doctor chose that moment to exit the ER and walked toward Jane with a folder in her hands.

Jane saw the woman approching and started off in her direction, ready to repeat her previous performance.

With the same tone and with the same force as before she started to talk: "Listen, I'm Detective Jane Rizzoli, Bost..."

She was interrupted by the doctor raising a hand and silently asking her to stop. With a firm but gentle tone the woman said: "Please, Detective. I know who you are. Try to calm down, ok? Please. Come with me, have a seat."

The doctor gestured for Jane to seat down on one of the grey plastic chairs lined up against the wall of the corridor.

Jane nodded.

With the back of her hand she again wiped away the tears that were running down her face unashamed and followed the doctor to the chairs, taking a seat.

"Please" the detective whispered with a cracked voice. She was so tired, weak. She was trembling now. "Please, tell me something. She's the woman I love. Please." She was begging the doctor. Her shoulders felt so heavy. The head she usually held so high was now lowered, her eyes fixing the spotless floor.

The woman put a comforting hand on Jane's knees and said with a calm, gentle voice: "I'm Doctor Kate Green. Please, calm down. Take deep breaths.

The woman took one of Jane's trembling hands in hers. "You're freezing. I'll have the nurse find a jacket or something for you."

Jane nodded squeezing the doctor's hands. She wasn't very fond of physical contact, expecially with strangers, but in those moments she needed something to hold on to.

"Thank you" she whispered.

The doctor nodded and continued: "Detective, I'm the head physician here. I can give you information about Doctor Isles. I know her well. She was my friend, too. I'm sorry for what happened."

The doctor smiled weakly and, letting go of Jane's hands, she opened the folder she was carring.

"Ok, you're listed has Maura next of keen so I can give you any information you want about her."

"Thank you." Jane said with a look of relief and gratitude in her eyes.

"Please, tell me how she is. What happened?"

"She fighting. She's strong. Maura was shooted at the chest. The bullet missed the heart and went right through her chest. It punctured her left lung and it pierced an arthery. The force of the shot knocked her to the ground and she must have fallen right onto her left shoulder. It's broken. She also broke two ribs. She must have hit her head on the floor. She's suffering from a minor concussion but that is the minor of our concern right now."

With every word Jane heart was sinking deeper and deeper. Her fear was rising higher and higher. She could feel her heart pounding in her chest. She was fidgeting, she was clenching her hands so tightly that her knuckles were turning white for the effort.

She was having trouble breathing, the trembling was getting worst.

Dr. Green, noticing Jane state of shock, started stroking the detective's arm and spoke softly: "Hey, take deep breaths. It's ok. It will be ok."

"It's not ok...Will...will she make it? Please, tell me the truth." Jane pleaded sobbing.

The doctor answered: "I can't assure you that. She's fighting. We're doing all we can. The paramedics lost her twice on the ride to the hospital. She's very weak. She lost a lot of blood and..."

Jane interrupted her. Desperation in her voice: "I can give her blood. We've got the same blood type. Please, let me help her. I can't lose her. I just can't. I love her too much."

Jane had never admitted that in so many words. Not even to herself. She had never actually spoken the words out loud before. But she did it twice in a few minutes. She loved Maura Isles and in that moment she made a promise to herself and to the woman she loved. She wouldn't waste another instant. She would tell Maura her feelings the moment she would see her and she would spend the rest of her life making sure that Maura knew exactly the way she felt every minute of every day.

The doctor gave Jane a faint smile, a smile of understanding and admiration.

It wasn't easy to let the guard down and to let someone see right through you, confessing feelings and fears so openly and without shame.

"Ok, it's a good idea. We need all the blood we can find. She'll need other transfusions when she's out of surgery."

The doctor patted Jane's legs and told her reassuringly: "Let's go. I'll personally take your blood so you can tell me something about Maura in the meantime...I haven't seen her in many years."

"How long will it take before she's out of surgery?" asked Jane esitantly. She had calmed down but she was still scared to death and on the verge of tears.

"It could take a while. But it's not a bad sign. They have to stitch up the arthery and to rebuild the fractured bones. They also have to take a look at her punctured lung. It will take a while. Try to stay calm, ok? She will make it. She's a fighter." Said the doctor giving her a sympathetic smile.

"Yes, she is." Aswered Jane under her breath.

In that moment the doctor's pager beeped.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

_**This is the new chapter. It's short, I'm sorry...I'll continue from here.**_

_**I hope you'll like it!**_

_**Enjoy your reading and...reviews are always welcome!**_

"What? What is it? Is it Maura? Is she alright?" asked Jane in fully panic mode now; she was yelling, grabbing the doctor's arm with all her might, her breath labored.

The doctor put a hand on Jane's one and gently, looking directly in her eyes reassured her.

"Please, calm down...ok? I don't know if it's her or not. I'll go check and I'll let you know as soon as possible. Please, stay calm...you won't be of any help in this state when she wakes up...and she will wake up, ok? Take a deep breath...good, like this...inspire and espire...good".

Jane tried her best to focus on the doctor's soothing voice, to breathe, to take control of her body and emotions...she was on a rollercoaster rigt now...she needed some answers, some good answers.

The helplessness was destroying her.

"Please, tell me something...I need to now something...please" she begged, in a low, barely udible voice, with no embarassment; the tears streaming down her cheeks again.

"Please, go lay down. A nurse will be here shortly and she will take your blood. Ok? Maura will need it. Now you can help her by staying calm and focused...I'll be back as soon as possible. Please, you have to calm down...don't make me sedate you" said the doctor, looking straight in Jane's eyes.

Jane let go the doctor's arm and, looking at her one last time, whispered: "Please, I need her...I don't know how to live without her...".

The woman put a gentle hand on Jane's shoulder and said: "I know how you feel, believe me, I know..." and with a last pat on Jane's shoulder she opened the door and left.

Jane was standing alone in the small, white, cold, aseptic emergency room.

She closed her eyes, trying to catch her breath.

The doctor was right.

She needed something to focus on.

Just Maura...

Maura's face...so beautiful, so perfect.

Maura's eyes...so deep, so sensual, so intense.

Maura's smile...so endearing, so comforting, so honest.

Maura's heart...so passionate, so alive, so full of love.

Maura's laugh...so precious, so special, so powerfull.

Maura's voice...so soft, so captivating, so uniquely her.

Then everything went black.

In an instant Jane's heart started pounding in her chest.

Her breath was short, ragged... she was there again...

-Don't touch him! I mean it! Don't you dare touch him!-

Maura's eyes again, different...they were dark, empty, distant, full of anger, sadness, sorrow...

Maura was staring at her now, blood on her chest.

Then she felt it...her stomach...she run to the closest bin and threw up.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 7

When the door leading to surgery opened, Jane raised her head and looked up... She was trembling, on the floor, next to the bin. The eyes of Kate Green were looking right into hers with a sad but understanding look. The doctor closed the door and walked slowly toward Jane. There was no one in the corridor. She squatted near the detective, put a gentle hand on the other woman's shoulder and whispered: " Are you ok?" She could imagine what the answer was going to be.

Jane answered with a low, deep voice: "No, I'm not ok...what happened?"

"It wasn't Maura...don't worry. She's still in surgery...everything is fine but it's gonna take a bit more. It's a good sign. She's gonna make it."

"I hope so...I don't know what to say, I don't know what to do...I don't know what's happening to me. How can I help her?"

"You can help her staying calm and focused. You said you have the same blood type as Maura, right? We need your blood for her. So what do you say if we stand up and get some of that blood of yours for the woman you love?" asked kindly the doctor.

Jane slowy nodded and stood up. The doctor helped her grasping her hands. They were freezing.

"You are cold. Let's get you a sweater. I'm sorry I forgot. The last thing we need is you coming down with the flu. I'll call the nurse. Please, enter that room and lay down on the bed there. Try to relax. I know it's easier said than done, but please, try."

Jane did what she had been told. She entered the small white room and laid down. She hated white rooms. She hated white bed sheets. They reminded her of Hoyt. It was a stupid, childish but understandable association.

White, hospital, Hoyt.

Unconsciously she started massaging her hands. The scars were hurting. The tension and the cold weren't good for them but she hadn't even felt the painful throbbing pain as long as she was on the floor, sobbing.

Kate returned minutes later with a blue sweater. It was wrinkled and the originally bright blue colour was now fading.

"Here, put this on. I didn't find anything better so I got you this. It should fit. Apparently this thing has been here for years. It's old fashioned and it hasn't seen a washing machine in a while. But it should do for now."

"Thanks" said Jane, showing the shadow of a smile. The first in hours.

She put on the piece of clothes and commented: "Maura would kill me if she saw me wearing something like this."

The doctor was preparing everything she needed to get Jane's blood. " I see she hasn't change. You're right. She would never allow anyone near her to wear an old fashioned blue fading sweater. It would be a crime." Said the doctor in a playful voice. They shared a smile and Kate returned to preparing the syringe.

She had chosen not to comment on what had happened before and Jane was grateful for that. What was happening to her? Why was she so emotional? It wasn't like her to let go and show her feelings.

She knew the answer.

It was Maura they were talking about. Maura. Her best friend. But mostly the woman she loved. She had loved her for so long but she hadn't had the courage to act on her feelings and now it could be too late.

Even if the M.E. was going to make it, Jane knew Maura hated her and she had every right to do so. She had killed her father. Her mob boss father. But her father none the less.

Out of the blue Jane asked: "What if she doesn't forgive me? If she hates me? What would I do?"

The doctor turned around and looked at Jane. Then asked: "Do you want to talk about what happened between the two of you?"

If she had understood a little bit how Jane was, she assumed that the detective was a rather shy and reserved person. She didn't like to express her emotions or talk about her feelings but maybe she needed to open the bottle and talk about them.

"I'm not very too good at expressing my emotions. I'm not too good with words. And it's a long story. I don't want to bother you."

"Well…try. We have time. Don't worry." Kate answered. She didn't want to be indiscreet or to pry for information on the detective life but she was a doctor after all and she was sure that Jane needed to let go of some of her sorrow and frustration.

Jane was silent for a while. When the doctor neared her with the syringe she decided to talk. It was time to let go and to open up to someone. This caring doctor was the best option now.

Kate gestured for Jane to lay down on the bed so she could get her blood.

"Ok, I'll give you the short version." The doctor nodded and Jane went on."What do you know about Maura's parents?" she asked. The doctor knew Maura after all.

"Well…If I remember correctly, based on my humble experience…they are very rich and very snob!" she said with the hint of a smile on her lips.

Jane smiled back and continued: "Yes, they are. Your experience is quite similar to mine. We got to the same conclusion. But I wasn't referring to her adoptive parents. If you watched the news a few weeks ago…"

"Oh, yes, of course" interrupted the doctor. "You're referring to Patrick Doyle. I heard the news. And I was quite surprised to say the least. So you are the infamous Jane Rizzoli who shot Patrick Doyle. How silly of me. Of course you're her. Now I remember."

"It's me…" Jane said looking to the stream fo dar red blood now filling up the big syringe.

"And I assumed Maura is not happy with what you did. Right?" asked Kate.

"You're right again. We'd never talked about what she would have liked me to do with Doyle. I didn't know she was so attached to that man. For God's sake, we used to call him –her sperm donor-. I thought she hated him. But leave it to Maura to be so compassionate and understanding toward a mob boss." she finished with a small, ironic laugh.

"It's her father" said the doctor.

"I know. I should've known. She was so eager to find out something about her true parents. I should have known." Jane was in silence for a few seconds and then went on.

"I mean…I just reacted out of pure instinct. He had a gun. He was pointing it in my direction. He had already shot an FBI agent. I pulled the trigger. It's my job. It's what I had been trained to do. I didn't know what he could have done. He could have shot Maura, too. I needed to protect her, my partner and myself. It was just a reflex." Concluded Jane out of breath. The tears were threatening to start falling again. She was trying to justify, for the umpteenth times, her actions. In her head she had done the right thing. But she could understand Maura's point of view.

She killed her father. Plain and simple.

"Please, calm down. You don't need to account for your behaviour to me."

"I know, I know…but I killed her father. She looks at me and she sees an assassin. She hates me." Jane was trying to keep her tears at bay without success.

She had killed Maura's father.

Everytime she thought about it the reality of what she have done struck her with more force.


	4. Chapter 4

_Hello!_

_Here's another chapter. Hope you'll like it. _

_Reviews are always more then welcome!_

Chapter 8

After a moment of silence the doctor asked: "Have you talked to Maura about all this?"

"No…I haven't. We haven't spoken to one another in weeks. She's been so distant and so sad…I haven't had the courage to approach her. And everytime she looked at me I could see something in her eyes…I don't know what. Something that wasn't there before. Sadness maybe, loneliness…I let her down….I really don't know. It was like she wanted to talk to me, to reach for me but she wouldn't even dare. I'm not good at reading feelings. I'm better with crimes. " Said Jane with a small, resigned laugh.

"Well…we are done here" said the doctor after finishing with the syringe. Then she continued: "I think you two should talk and solve this thing between you. It's the only thing to do in my opinion. You can't go on ignoring each other forever."

"She won't talk to me. She hates me." Said Jane, dejected.

"You don't know it. Try and talk to her. I mean….she's staying here for at least another week. And when she wakes up she won't go anywhere, will she? So she will have to stay put and listen to your explanation." Suggested Kate.

"Maybe you're right. She will have to listen to me. It's not like she can walk away and slam the door."

"Right! So…how long have you and Maura been together?" asked the doctor, sitting at her desk and dialing the nurse station number.

"What?" asked Jane genuinely surprised. "Oh, no…no. We aren't together…together. I mean… we're not lesbians or anything. We are not… a couple. We…I…" stammered Jane.

The doctor interrupted her: "Oh sorry. You said you loved her and I assumed that…"

Jane was silent for a moment and then answered Kate: "I love her. No, I don't just love her. I'm in love with her…" It was like she had just realised the truth about herself. She had spoken up her truth. For the very first time. And she was relieved. She felt lighter. And a little bit happier, maybe.

"Then I think that you are a lesbian, after all." Suggested Kate.

In that moment there was knock at the door. A nurse entered and the doctor gave her the blood sacks she had taken from Jane.

That moment of brief silence gave Jane the opportunity to let what the doctor had said sunk in.

She was indeed a lesbian.

But she didn't care. She wasn't the one for labels. She was in love. For the very first time. She loved Maura Isles. And Maura Isles happened to be a woman. A smart, intelligent, beautiful, attractive and sexy woman. If that fact made her a lesbian, so be it. She couldn't care less.

Truth be told, she had always been attracted to women. She was interested in them. But she had always dismissed the thought. – I don't like women. I just haven't found the right man yet. That's all-

When the nurse left Jane looked at the doctor and said: "I suppose I'm a lesbian, after all." And let out a small genuine laugh.

The doctor joined in the laughter and then added: "Why aren't the two of you together?"

"We've never really or seriously broach this particular subject. I don't even know if she likes me that way or not. Sometimes I think…thought, she did. But we've never talked about it. She likes men. I know it. She likes sex and she likes to have it with men. Handsome men for the record."

The doctor was silent for a moment, then stood up and walked near the bed where Jane was still laying. She looked the detective in the eyes and said: "We've been together for almost two years back in college."


	5. Chapter 5

_Hi! Sorry it's a short update but I hope you'll like it._

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Chapter 9

Jane gulped and looked at the doctor astonished.

"We? Who's we? You mean you and Maura, right?" asked Jane, already knowing the answer.

"Exactly…Maura and I were together years ago. I loved her and she loved me. At least I hope so" said the doctor with a hint of sadness in her voice.

"Wow…that's…surprising! So Maura likes women…" commented the detective, thinking out loud.

"Yes, I can assure you she does!" said Kate with a smile and a double meaning not lost to Jane who soon joined in the laughter.

"Well…one less problem…I guess. Now she just have to like me…"

"Who says she doensn't?" asked Kate

"I don't know…Sometimes I think she does and sometimes I don't know…I mean, she's so naïve and she's not very good in the feelings department…She said she hasn't had a best friend before and what if I misread her behaviour? What if I'm just her best friend and she acts the way she acts without any romantic feelings towards me? Maybe I'm just confusing friendship and friendly love with something more…"

"There's just one way for you to find out…" suggested Kate.

"What if she hates me and she doesn't want to talk to me again?" asked Jane with fear, more to herself than to the doctor.

"Again…there's just one way for you to find out, Jane. Talk to her. She will listened to you. I know she will. Now…the surgery should be almost finished. Why don't you go and wait for Maura in her room. We'll bring her there as soon as she's out and you can stay with her and be there when she wakes up."

"I'd love to. But I need to make a few phone calls in the meantime. Can I?"

"Yes you can, but please, stay here. You can't use your phone in ICU. OK? I'll write you down the number of the room and I'll let the nurse know that you are coming up later."

"Thanks a lot, Kate. For everything."

"No problem. Say hello to Maura for me when she wakes up. I'll come by tomorrow."

The doctor took her clipboard and, with a gentle caress on Jane's shoulder, walked away.

Jane was alone in the small white room. It had been a very interesting hour to say the least. She now knew that her best friend, the woman she was in love with, liked women.

And she also spoke out loud, for the first time, her truth. She was a lesbian. And she felt so light and so relieved now.

Jane grabbed the phone and dialed her ma's number.

Angela answered on the first ring and started firing questions: "Jane, thanks God! How's Maura? Where are you? Frankie called me hours ago…I wanted to come to the hospital but he didn't want me to. How's her Jane?"

Jane closed her eyes and inspired then, calm and collected, answer her anxious mother: "Ma, please can I talk for a second?" When there was silence on the other end of the line Jane continued: "Maura is still in surgery. The doctor says she's going to make it. But it want be easy. She's been severely injured."

"Thanks God she's going to be ok. What happened?" asked Angela a little relieved now.

"I don't know…I didn't see the crime scene yet. I run to the hospital as soon as I knew…When I heard the gun shots I…" Jane couldn't talk anymore. The pressure in her throat was overwhelming. She wanted to cry and scream at the same time.

"The gun shots? Jane, where were you when it happened?" asked Angela alarmed now.

"I was at home…I was in bed… and Maura called me…I was on the phone with her when she was shot…I wasn't with her…and she needed me."

Now that she was thinking more clearly she realized that. She hadn't been there for Maura…again. Her rational, logical mind was telling her that it wasn't her fault. That even if they were still best friends she could have been home at that time and not with Maura. But her emotional mind, the one on the front seat at the moment, was telling her that maybe, just maybe, if she hadn't been a coward, if she had told Maura her true feelings for her…maybe they could have been together at that time, in bed.

In the instant her detective mode kicked in, the conflict in her head got worse. What was Maura doing in that shop at that hour of the night? It was so far from the M.E.'s home. But it was near her home. It was "their" place to go grocery shopping. Was Maura feeling the same need to be near her she was feeling? Maura was reaching for her and she hadn't understood that… again her fault.

Her mother's voice distracted her from her thoughts: " Please, Jane, don't start blaming yourself. Ok? It's not your fault".

"I know ma, don't worry. I'll let you know something more as soon as she's out of surgery and I can speak with a doctor. Ok? Now please, go to sleep. It's very late. And don't worry." She said Angela gently.

"Ok baby, I'm going to sleep. Let me know as soon as you speak to the doctor. I love you."

"I love you too, Ma. Bye."

The first call was finished. And now the most difficult one…

The female voice was hoarse and sleepy when she answered the phone. Who knows what time it was in the part of the world she was in?

"Hello?"

"Hello Constance. I'm Jane Rizzoli. Maura's friend." Said Jane in a calm voice.

"Oh…Jane. I know who you are, darling. How are…wait…Is Maura ok?" asked Constance as soon as she realized the time.

"Constance, Maura had been shot tonight. It seems it was a robbery." Said the detective. She couldn't keep the fear and the pain out of her voice.

"Is she ok Jane? Is she ok?" asked a panicked Constance raising her voice.

"She's still in surgery but the doctor said she's going to make it."

"I'm coming there as soon as possible. I'll be on the next flight. Please, let me know if you know something more. And please, text me the name of the hospital. Thanks Jane." And the line went dead.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 10

Jane looked at the phone like it was an unknown object…Constance just put down the phone on her? In the middle of telephone call? How terribly unpolite of her, she thought. Maura would say that.

She was putting away her phone ready to go and wait for Maura when it rang. She answered it, a little annoyed for the unforseen call.

"Hello"

"Jane, it's Korsak. How's Maura?" asked the man who was like a father for the detective. He was worried. She could feel it in his voice. He cared deeply for Maura too.

"Hi. She's still in surgery. They say she should make it." –And I don't know what I would do if she didn't- thought Jane to herself.

"Great. Don't worry. She's a fighter Jane. She'll be up and around in no time. You'll see. "

"Yeah…I truly hope so." After a few seconds of silence Jane went on: "Listen…is there any news? Are you still at the crime scene?"

"Yeah, we are. It seems to be a robbery. The bastard went in, took the money and shot Maura. I think Doctor Isles tried to stop her and was shot."

"Her?"

"Yes, the clerk said the it was a woman. Late 30s. She was very nervous, she was trembling and wanted the money. She heard a noise, she turned around and shot Maura. Then ran away."

"Is the clerk able to identify the woman?" asked the detective.

"He said he was. Let's hope so."

"Ok…I'm going to go and wait for Maura in her room."

"Ok Jane. Say hi to Maura for me and Frost when she wakes up. We'll come to visit as soon as she's up to it. Ok?"

"Yeah. I'll tell her that. If you need me you know where to find me. But I'd like to stay here with Maura if it's ok with you."

"Of course it is. I've already talked to Cavanaugh. Take all the time you need. He sends his bests too. Let me know when she wakes up"

"Thank you. I'll talk to you later. And Korsak…get the bastard who shot her. I don't know what I could do if I put my hands on her before you do…"

"Bye Jane"

"Bye"

Jane put her phone away and took a look at the piece of paper Kate Green gave her minutes before.

It said:

Fifth floor.

Room 555.

Say hi to Maura for me.

Bye, Kate

Jane found the elevator and took it to the fifth floor. The nurse station was empty so she went directly in search of the room.

It was white, no surprise. It appeared to be clean and comfortable. Maura would be ok with it. It had three chairs and a desk, two windows, a big tv, a wardrobe, a private bathroom with a surprisingly wide tube and a shower. On the nightstand, near the bed, there was an empty vase.

Jane went outside and took the phone again. She didn't know why but she kept the number of her mother's florist in her phone. She called him and ordered a beautiful bouquet. 24 red roses. She was sure Maura would know the meaning behind the flowers. They arranged the delivering for that evening.

She went to the nurse station and spoke to the nurse on shift.

"Hi, I'm detective Jane Rizzoli."

"Hi" answered the nurse with a kind and sincere smile. "I'm Sarah and I know who you are. You actually scared my collegue at the reception before." She smiled.

"Oh…I'm…I didn't…" stammered Jane.

"Don't worry. She understood. She said you must love your partner very much."

"Well…I..." What was she supposed to say now? It was true. She loved Maura. Very much. In every sense of the word. So she went for: "You're right. I do. Very much." After a pause she spoke again: "I just wanted to let you know that I intend to be here day and night until Maura gets out of this place. So, please, don't try and stop me. It would be futile."

"Don't worry. I don't have any intention to stop you. And I know you have a gun. So, no problem." Answered the nurse with a hint of a smile in her voice. "You know what? Do you want me to get you a cot to sleep?"

"Could you do that? It would be great. Thanks."

"Ok. I'll get that for you."

"Listen…there should be a delivery here in a while. I didn't know if I could do it or not but I did it anyway. Could you inform me when it is here?

"Of course. What kind of delivery? If I may…"

"You may…flowers." The nurse smiled.

Jane entered the room while a man was pulling her cot inside. She was sleeping in that room, next to Maura until Maura was out of that place. And nothing or no one was going to stop her.

She thanked the man for the cot and the covers and then sat on the small bed. At least it was comfortable.

It was almost morning. Jane was tired but she knew she wouldn't be able to sleep if Maura wasn't there next to her sleeping too.

She went to the small bathroom and washed her face. Looking at herself in the mirror she started thinking about her life. In the last day a lot of things changed. Her best friend was in the hospital. She realized she liked women. And one in particular. She was in love with her best friend who happened to like women too. It was a situation destined to be complicated but she didn't want to give up on Maura. She wanted her. She wanted a chance with her. Just thinking about Maura was making her smile. She was so unique, so smart, so kind and generous. She'd never meet someone like Maura Isles before. She was beautiful, attractive…sexy. She was telling herself not to think about Maura in that way. She was in surgery. It was very wrong. But she couldn't help herself. It happened before. She dreamed about Maura. She'd dream to hold her, to kiss her, to make love to her. And when she'd wake up she would be frustrated and she would feel guilty. Dreaming about Maura like that was a guilty pleasure she indulged in without any right. But Maura liked women. And maybe Maura liked her. Maybe Maura wanted the same things from her. Maybe she loved her. She could only hope and wait for the M.E. to wake up and then she wanted to make everything clear between them. Now that everything was in the open (or almost) she couldn't go back and deny what she felt for Maura anymore.

Her line of thoughts was interrupted by some noises coming from the other room. She exited the bathroom to see two nurses pushing a big bed in. On the bed, attached to wires and machines, was laying Maura Isles. Jane looked at her and couldn't prevent the tears from forming in her eyes. The nurse she talked with before approached her and put a gentle hand on her forearm.

Jane quickly wiped away the tears with the back of her hand and looked at the nurse.

"Hey" said the nurse with a low, gentle voice: "She's going to be as good as new. She's ok. Don't let all the wires, bips and machines scare you or keep you away from her. Ok?"

Jane nodded looking at Maura now. She was so pale, so fragile in that big bed.

"Those tubes and wires will come out soon. Don't worry. Now she's still sleeping but she'll wake up in a few hours and she'll be in pain. Call me as soon as she wakes up, ok? The doctor will be here soon to talk to you." The nurse squeezed once more Jane's arm and walked out closing the door.

For the first time in months Jane and Maura were finally alone.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 11

Jane looked at Maura with tears in her eyes.

Why was Maura laying in a hospital bed? She was the cop. She should be there instead of Maura. The M.E. seemed so small in that bed, surrounded by tubes and wires. Her usually rosy cheeks were now pale. She had black circles under her eyes. Her red sensuous lips were now chapped and dry. Her soft usually shining hair were now opaque and tangled; dried blood was crusted through it. She had a red bump on her left temple, probably from the fall after she was shot. There was some stains of dried blood on her face too.

Her left harm was casted in a white sling and it was delicately eased down on her belly. Jane remembered her shoulder was broken. She could barely see, from under the light sheet covering Maura's breasts, an heavy white bandage on her left side, from her shoulder to her abdomen, Jane guessed. She noticed some dried blood on her neck. She didn't have the courage to lift the sheet and look under it. She wanted to conserve Maura's modesty for as long as she could. And she couldn't lift that sheet knowing what she was going to see.

Maura had an oxygen mask on her face, helping her breath. She had a long tube coming from her chest. Probably a drainage tube, Jane thought. She was attached to an heart monitor that was now biping slowly and steadily. She had another tube coming from her right arm. It may be Jane's blood being injected in Maura's body. They would be forever bound, no matter what would happen. Her blood was flowing in Maura's veins now. Red and thick. She was a part of Maura. It sounded so cheesy and terribly romantic but it was the truth.

Jane didn't know what to do. There was nothing she could possibly do; just wait. And she wasn't good at waiting. She wiped away her tears and took a deep breath. The detective sat down next to Maura in an uncomfortable plastic chair. With trembling fingers she took Maura's right hand in hers and started caressing the back of that small hands with her long, callous fingers. The contrast between their skin was so obvious. It was just a mere reminder of their personalities. They were so different in everything. Red and brown hair. Green and brown eyes. A petite and feminine figure in contrast with tall and thin one. Maura was elegant and classy, extremely intelligent, educated, rich…on the other hand Jane was sporty and practical, she was smart and down on earth. Maura liked expensive restaurants and glamorous boutiques. Hundred dollars shoes and red wine. Jane liked hamburgers with french fries and chilly beers; you could count the times she wore a dress on one hand. Maura liked spending time on her couch reading medical journals or watching rare documentaries while Jane like to watch a baseball match with her feet on the table in shorts and a worn tank top.

They were so different in each and every aspect of their life but, against all odds, they were best friends. They'd chosen each another. They liked spending time together. They could talk for hours or watch a movie in silence without any awkwardness. They completed each other in their professional life. Could they complete each other in their personal life and be each other's half? Was it possible for them? In her wildest dreams Jane thought it was. She just wanted to have a chance to prove it. To herself, to Maura and to everyone else.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a soft knock on the door.

"Come in" said Jane in a low voice, without lifting her gaze from Maura's face.

"Hello, I'm Lauren Lewis. I'm Doctor Isles' doctor" said the voice of a woman. She sounded gentle and warm.

Jane looked at her and smiled softly. Then stood up and, without letting go of Maura's hand she extended her other hand to the doctor, a woman in her 40s with long blond hair and brown eyes.

"Hello. Nice to meet you. I'm detective Jane Rizzoli….I'm her..." Jane esitated for a moment. What was her now for Maura? She looked and the woman on the bed with an impossible sweet smile and then said: "I'm her best friend."

"Nice to meet you too, detective." Said the doctor shaking the offered hand.

"How is she doctor?" asked Jane cutting to the chase. She looked at the woman with a pleading gaze. She looked like she was conveying a silent message through her eyes; something like – please, tell me she will be ok, I can't possibly take anything else-

"Well…considering what she went through I'd say it could have been much worse."

Jane was still looking expectantly at her. The detective was rigid in her pose. She was standing tall, her head high. She appeared calm and controlled now. But the trembling in her lips and her emotional eyes were giving her away. The doctor went on: "She's going to make a full recovery but it won't be neither an easy nor a quick process. It's going to take some time and patience. She was very lucky."

Jane let go of the breath she was holding, shutting her eyes for a second. Her shoulders relaxed immediately and she wiped away the tears with the back of her free hand. She sat again on the chair next to the bed: "She is a fighter." Said the detective stroking gently Maura's forehead with her fingers.

The doctor looked at the scene in front of her for a minute, without saying a word. Were they just best friends? she asked herself.

"She surely is. Now…listen. She has a badly broken shoulder. It's in a cast now. We rebuild the fractured bone and it should be ok. She will need some rehab to regain the full use of it."

"Good…what about her wound?" asked Jane concerned, still stroking softly Maura's cheek and forehead with her fingers like it was the most natural thing in the world to do for her.

"She was shot near the heart. She was lucky enough and the bullet missed it. Still it punctured her left lung and pierced an artery in its way out from the back. We had to work on the lung and the artery but everything should be ok. She won't run any marathon soon but she will with some rehab. The bullet broke 2 ribs when it entered her chest. The force of the impact caused her to fall. She fell right on her left shoulder. That's way it's broken, too."

"And the bump on her temple?"

"That's from the fall too. It's nothing concerning. It's just a minor concussion with no complication. Don't worry about it." Reassured her the doctor.

"And what are all these tubes and wires coming out from her?" asked Jane in her practical lingo.

"The wires are from the heart monitor." Jane nodded and the doctor explained: "She has an oxigen mask on to hep her breathing but it should come off when she wakes up if she can breath without to much effort. The tube coming from her chest is a drainage tube. We want to be sure that all the blood and the fluid come out of her lung to prevent pneumonia etc. The tube in her arm, as you can see, is for the blood transfusion. She lost a lot of blood. We need to restore it. She should need two other sacks of your blood, by the way, according to what they said to me before."

Jane nodded again.

"It was a good thing you have the same blood type. It made everything faster."

"I'm just so glad she's ok. I'd do anything for her." Said Jane in a low voice, almost talking to herself.

The doctor was silent for a moment. Her suspicions from before were almost confirmed…these two weren't just best friends but maybe they didn't know it yet.


	8. Chapter 8

_Sorry, this is short. Next one will be better._

_Hope you like it. Reviews are welcome!_

Chapter 12

"Is there anything else you may want to know?" asked the doctor.

"Yes, please. How long until she wakes up?" asked Jane.

"She should wake up in a few hours…she's been through a lot tonight. Her body needs to rest and relax. You don't need to stay here tonight. You can go home if you want. We will call you as soon as she's awake." Offered the doctor kindly.

"No, thanks. I appreciate it but I won't leave her side until she comes home with me. I plan to stay here."

"Very well. You can stay for as long as you want. I'm afraid you won't sleep to much tonight. Nurses will come and go to check on her."

"I doubt I will be able to sleep. I'm too tense to sleep. I just need to stay here and watch her breath."

"I understand. Listen, there is a shower in the bathroom. It's a private bathroom. You can use it if you want. You could go home, take some clothes for you and for her and return. It won't take too long and you'll be more comfortable. She will need clothes too. Expecially underwear." Suggested the woman now standing next to Maura on the other side of the bed and looking at Jane with a sympathetic gaze.

"I guess you're right. I should go and get something. I'll be back in an hour at most." Concluded Jane.

"Like I said before, there's no hurry. You give your name to the nurses so they'll open the main door for you when you return here."

"Ok, thanks doctor." Said Jane standing up.

"My pleasure. Oh…I was looking at her. We do all we can in surgery but there's often no time to wash the patient. I can see some dried blood. I just want to let you know I'll tell the nurse to come here and give her a quick sponge bath to get rid of these stains…" said the doctor looking at Jane. She could detect something similar to panic in her dark eyes. The idea was somewhat disturbing for the woman in front of her. Why? She saw Jane looking at Maura's face and chest and then lift her gaze.

"I was thinking that maybe…I mean…I'm….I could…." Stammered Jane, trying to find the right words.

The doctor understood the hesitation in Jane's words. The detective was embarrassed but she wanted to preserve her friend modesty and, wanting to make the things easier for Jane, suggested: "I was thinking too. Maybe you could give her the sponge bath when you get back. So the nurse will be free to attend the other patients without having to rush with Maura. Is it ok for you?"

"Well I guess I could do it for her. I mean…I'm her best friend. Best friends do help each other, right?"

"Right! So, when you get back I'll have the nurse give you the sponge and everything so we can get Maura all nice and clean before she wakes up. I doubt she would appreciate dried blood on her. I know I wouldn't."

"No, I'm sure she wouldn't."

"Just be careful with the wires and tubes, ok?"

"Ok. I'll do my best. Now I'll go…I'll back as soon as I can." Said Jane.

"Good, but don't worry. I'll go with you so I can explain the situation to the nurses. I'll wait for you outside."

Jane nodded and looked at Maura again. She was sleeping peacefully. She seemed in no pain. That was good. Jane didn't want to leave Maura's side but the doctor was right. She had to be practical. They both needed clothes and a few thing from home. The sooner she'd go the soon she'd be back.

She bent down and kissed Maura's forehead. Then said to Maura in a calm, sweet voice: "Honey, I'm going home to get a few things for us. You will need clothes , underwear and….you know this better than me. And I need them too. So…I'm going to go and be back really fast. When I get back I'm going to give you a sponge bath I know you prefer to take showers but this is the best I can do for now. Rest and relax." Jane kissed Maura's cheek and whispered in her ear: "See you soon. I love you." She kissed Maura's hand squeezing it and, for just a second, she thought she felt Maura's hand returning her squeeze.

She exited the room and, with a last glance at the sleeping M.E., she closed the door and followed the doctor to the nurse station.


	9. Chapter 9

Chaper 13

_Hi guys!_

_Here's another update. I hope you'll like it._

_Have you got any suggestion? Let me know…reviews are welcome!_

Jane drove to her apartment. She fed Joe, she got a few things from her closets and some bath lotions, then went to Maura's house. She loved that place. It was so Maura-like. It was big and sophisticated but warm and familiar at the same time.

She entered the house using her set of keys. Maura gave it to her years ago and she did the same. They used to spend many nights at each other place. For a drink, for dinner, for a case, for a chat, for each other's company. Truth was that before their fall out months before, they wouldn't spend two nights in a row without seeing each other. They were like an old married couple. They would even cancel on dates to spend the night watching a documentary on tv or the highlights of the last baseball match with a bottle of beer on Jane's couch. Maura didn't even like beer but she started drinking it for Jane. A six pack was always in the fridge. And Jane did the same for Maura. There was a bottle of red wine in her kitchen now.

Bass greeted her. He was walking slowly in the living room and Jane squatted near the tortoise, gingerly caressing his shell. She was starting to warm up to that weird animal. Leave it to Maura to have a pet that weights more than a motor bike.

"Hey buddy. How are you?" asked the detective caressing him. Bass stopped and turned his head slowly towards Jane.

"Do you miss your mummy? She's in the hospital right now. But don't worry. She's coming home soon. In the meantime I guess it's you and me. And I need to keep you healthy and feed you. What to do you want for breakfast?" she asked the tortoise.

"Let's see if I can find your favourites." Jane got up and went to the fridge to find something for Bass to eat. She found lettuce and some strawberries. "Here you go... breakfast. Enjoy your meal, buddy." She put everything near the bowl of water she filled and went upstairs, straight to Maura's bedroom.

She'd been there many times. With Maura and not alone. She had fallen asleep with Maura in her king size bed many times. They would wake up wrapped around each other but they'd never talked about that; they would lay down watching a movie or a documentary and snuggles up like all friends do, right? Jane would wake up in the middle of the night and find herself on her back with Maura sleeping peacefully, her head on her chest and an arm around her stomach, their legs entwined. She guessed that was Maura's favourite position. They would often end up like that. Other times they'd wake up spooning. Jane'd found herself being the big spoon or the little one depending on her day. If it had been a bad day, she would usually wake up during the night wrapped in Maura's arm, feeling warm and safe, protected.

She was sure Maura was perfectly aware of their frequent sleeping arrangements. She loved those moments, those nights. She longed for those nights. But they had never discussed that.

Jane walked into the bedroom and found the bed unmade. In was so un-Maura-like to leave it that way but then she remembered Maura got up in the middle of the night. Maybe she had troubles sleeping like Jane had. Every night.

It had been weeks since she entered in that room, or in Maura's house. The bedroom was the same. Nothing changed. It just appeared less neat to Jane. Something caught her attention. Maura's bedside table. It was always clean and pristine. Usually, there was an alarm clock and, sometimes, you could find a journal or a book on it. Nothing else. Now there was a big frame with a photo…their photo.

She sat on the bed, took the frame in her hands and looked. It was a photo of them sitting on the couch, sleeping, their shoulders touching, Maura's head gently eased on Jane's shoulder. It had been taken months before. She didn't even know that photo existed. It was beautiful.

Why had Maura a photo like that one in her bedroom, after their fall out, after everything that had happened?

Was it possible that maybe, just maybe, Maura didn't hate her? If she had hated her she would have thrown every memory of Jane away….but she hadn't.

A smile, the first sincere smile of the night, beamed on Jane's face. There was hope for them, after all. She took out her phone and took a picture of "their picture". It was a silly thing to do, and she chuckled while she was doing it, but she wanted that piece of them with her.

Then she walked to Maura's enormous closet and opened it. It was a walk-in closet. She could smell Maura's perfume. Maura's scent was everywhere, so feminine and so assertive at the same time. So…Maura.

She could swear she had been catapulted right into an elegant, expensive and colourful boutique, in Paris, or in Rome or in another fancy and beautiful city. She admired each and every piece of clothing. She softly touched each dress, each blouse hanging from the rack remembering clearly, like in an instant flashback, a moment in which Maura was wearing it, at work, at home, at the park, with her. In each shot, in her memories, Maura was beautiful. Her eyes, her hair, her lips. She wondered how it would be like to kiss those lips, how they would taste. Were they as smooth and sweet as she thought? And her scent, her hair. Was is as soft as she remembered? She imagined her hands in Maura's hair. Her lips on Maura's. Her tongue caressing them. Her fingers on the doctor's skin…on her face, on her lips, on her body…

The ringing of her cell phone brought her back to reality.

She open her eyes and blushed furiously…what was she thinking? Maura was in a hospital bed. It was not the time for those kind of thoughts…

She took her phone and answered it, clearing her voice: "Rizzoli."

"Jane, it's me…How's Maura?" Korsak's familiar voice resounded on the other end of the line.

"Hi. She's out of surgery…they took her to her room. She's asleep. The doctor said she should be asleep for hours. She needs the rest. But she should be ok." Said Jane cautiously. She believed the doctor. She trusted her. But she wanted to see Maura smile with her own eyes, she wanted to hear Maura's voice with her own ears and she wanted to bring Maura home herself…as good as new.

"That's a great news Jane. She's strong. She would never leave you. You guys will solve your problems and you'll be happy together…" said Korsak. He paused for a second, aware of his words. Then tried to explain: "I mean…you'll be friends again, like before."

"I know what you meant, Korsak. Now I think I know. Don't worry. I'll try with all my might to make it right."

"You will. You deserve it. And Maura does to." Answered the older detective.

There was a moment of silence. Both understanding the meaning behind those words.

"Ok…I just wanted to let you know that we are back. Now I'll let you sleep. You need to rest too. I'll call you in the morning and I'll bring you up to date. Ok?"

"I'm at Maura's…I need to bring something to the hospital for her and for me. I'll go back in a few minutes. Thanks Korsak."

"Frost says hi. I'll let you go. Bye Jane. And send our bests to Maura. Each and every agent here is worried for her and prays for her. They love her."

"Ok…I'll do it. Bye Korsak. Thank you. For everything."

And with that the line went dead.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 14

_Hi! Here's another chapter. Enjoy!_

_Question for you: should Maura wake up while Jane is washing her?_

_Let me know! _

Jane put her phone back in its case and decided to start packing Maura's bag. She wanted to go back to the hospital as soon as possible. She had already wasted enough time.

She found the M.E.'s gym's bag next to the enormous walk-in closet and opened it. It was empty, of course. Her bag, on the contrary, was always full of dirty socks and t-shirts.

She started with some pyjamas. She opened the nightwear drawer and took a look inside it. She didn't felt completely at ease going through Maura's things without her permission. But at the same time Jane found the task also extremely intimate. Jane has seen some of Maura's silk pyjamas during the nights she had spent there with the M.E.. Wonderful, elegant and light as a feather silk pyjamas. They were beautiful and she had always found them very seductive on Maura.

Not knowing what she would need, she took a black silk pyjamas and a blue one. She brought them to her nose, intending to smell the sophisticated scent. It was like having Maura in her arms. She inspired deeply, filling her lungs and her soul with that intoxicating essence. She put the nightwear in the bag and opened the sportswear drawer.

She loved a sporty Maura. The doctor could make a simple pair of yoga pants look classy. Everything was classy on her, even a potato sack. She packed two pairs of yoga pants, two tank tops and two t-shirts. A surprise was in store for her in that particular drawer. She finally found one of her favourite t-shirt. It was white and red. It had the writing "Boston Homicide Team" on the front and her surname on the back. Below the surname there was a number. 5. It was her number in the baseball team she used to play in during the academy. She loved that t-shirt but she hadn't been able to find it for years. She blamed her mother for the mysterious vanishing but now she realized it wasn't Angela's fault. Did her t-shirt end up in that drawer by accident? Was Maura aware of that? She chuckled and put the piece of clothing in Maura's bag, too. She also took a few pairs of socks and the slippers.

And then came the delicate part. The embarrassing one. Jane opened Maura's underwear drawer. She'd rarely seen Maura's underwear. She would have never dared to pay attention to it before. Only in her dreams she felt bold enough, brave enough to imagine Maura's lusciuous body clad in beautiful, classy but suggestive undergarments. She looked through the many panties and bras neatly folded. Different colours, different textures but equally tasteful.

She took a deep breath, softly running her fingers through the different pieces of lingerie. It felt fascinating, intimate and strangely arousing. She soon found herself picturing Maura in them. For her. Again, her imagination and desire guided her fingers along the doctor's body, tentatively but sensually caressing it, embedding every line, every curve, every mark and every centimetres in her heart and mind. Her neck, her shoulders, her breasts, her hips, her stomach, her legs. Then something clicked in her brain. She opened her eyes and cleared her throat. A blush was again colouring her cheeks.

What was happening in her head? What kind of person was she? Why was she fantasizing about her best friend while she was in a hospital bed?

It was like she couldn't consciously stop it. She just couldn't fight the feelings that were emerging inside of her. It was like the mere acknowledging of her feelings for Maura had torn down the barriers she had unconsciously built around her heart and mind. Years of denial and restrain had been replaced by a flood of feelings, sensations and emotions that Jane wasn't aware of having kept bottled up inside for so long. This inebriating attraction she felt toward Maura wasn't new but it had became surprising, scary and terribly challenging to control. It was unexpected and yet so powerful. And it was growing every minute. She was certain, now more than ever…she wanted Maura. In every way possible.

She put herself together and took a few pairs of panties and bras. The simplest and the most comfortable she could find. She knew Maura wasn't going to wear a bra anytime soon but she took them anyway.

She closed the closet and walked into the adjoining bathroom. She opened a cupboard next to the big, shining sink and took out a few towels and Maura's bathrobe, in case she needed it.

Then she opened the smaller cabinet on the right and blinked twice at the sight. In that cabined Jane could see every beauty product, cream, lotion, shower gel, shampoo and make up product known to man, and woman in that specific case. No wonder Maura's skin was always so soft, shining and flawless. Nevertheless she was sure Maura didn't need all that products to be exchanting. In her eyes the doctor was beautiful even in that hospital bed. She took a new bottle of shower gel and shampoo, a body lotion, a body cream and put everything in a small beauty she found there. She closed the cabinet and took Maura's toothbrush and toothpaste from the sink. She also packed a hairbrush and Maura's perfume.

She had gathered everything the doctor might possibly need. She was proud of herself.

She then turned around and saw the doctor's big shower. She needed a shower. She didn't want to talk to Maura pleading her case smelling like sweat. The detective decided to hop in really quick. She undressed and opened the water. It was hot in a heart bit. Jane entered the luxurious shower and went directly under the hot spray. She turned her back to it letting the water cascading loosen up her tense and sore muscles. For an instant she thought about Maura being in there a few hours earlier, taking a shower…wet, soapy, naked. She pictured herself in that shower with the M.E., touching her, caressing her and being touched…it lasted only a few magnificent seconds than she came down to Earth. She needed to find a way to control her thoughts and emotions or she was going to be in big troubles later. She cleared her mind and washed herself using Maura's shower gel. She quickly turned off the water, dried herself and got dressed in a pair of yoga pants and a t-shirt she borrowed from Maura.

She closed the bags and went downstairs.

Jane gave one last look to Bass eating his strawberries without a care in the world: "Bye buddy, see you later."

She turned off the light, locked the door and took off for the hospital.

Luckily, in only a few hours, she was going to look at Maura in the eyes again.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 15

_Here's another chapter._

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_Jane, Maura and a sponge…let's see what happens…_

Jane arrived at the hospital and got to Maura's room without a problem. It was almost midday.

She saw doctor Lewis in the corridor and asked her if there hadn't been any changes.

"Oh, Jane, you're already here. Good. No changes. Everything looks good. She's still sleeping soundly. I'll call the nurse for you so she can bring you what you need to wash Maura." Said the doctor, walking away.

Washing Maura. An almost naked Maura…she was anticipating and dreading that moment. She was sure it was going to be uncomfortable but also intimate and meaningful for her, even though Maura wasn't going to feel anything. Would she ever have the chance to touch Maura's naked body again? Would a conscious Maura allow Jane to be this near, this intimate with her again?

She could only pray.

She entered the room and Maura was peacefully asleep. She put the bags in the small wardrobe in front of the bed and sat down on the chair next to the M.E. After a little hesitation Jane took Maura's hand in her, careful not to touch the tube coming from her arm. She looked at Maura and gently started caressing her red hair and her cheeks.

"Hey sweety" she whispered: "Didn't you overslept a little today? I hope you wake up soon. I want to hear your voice and look into your beautiful eyes. I miss you so much, you know. But you need your rest to get better. Now the nurse will bring the things we need to get you all nice and clean. I will wash you. Humor me but I don't want the nurse to touch you. I guess I am jealous…I hope you don't mind…well, maybe you do mind. Probably you hate me for what I did to you. You should…but…"

As Jane was finishing her sentence there was knock at the door and the nurse walked in. Jane quickly whispered in Maura's ear:" I love you" and then focused her attention on the black woman in the room.

"Detective…these are the things you need to wash your fianceè..." said the nurse cheerfully, approching Jane. She was maybe fifty. She had short brown hair and brown eyes. They were kind and compassionate.

"She's not…" tried Jane to explain. She wanted to clarify her position and the nature of her relationship with Maura at that moment, but the other woman didn't gave her the time. And Jane didn't try again to correct her. She didn't want to. There would be time for explanations later, if necessary. Fianceè. It was a legitimate assumption. She found herself wishing it was more than just an assumption.

The nurse began to explain with a loud, reassuring voice: "I brought you some shower gel, a sponge and some towels in case you need them. There should be a basin in the bathroom. You can fill it with warm water. Please, try not to get her bandages too wet. Ok? If you need me, don't hesitate to call me. Just push the red button there. I'm Sarah." Concluded the nurse with a friendly smile. Jane found the woman kindhearted and attentive. She liked her.

"Thanks Sarah. I'm Jane" smiled her.

The two women shook their hands and Sarah said: "You know, she's very lucky to be alive; it was a bad injury. And she's very lucky to have you here with her. She's going to need your support."

"I'm the lucky one" said Jane with a smile.

"You two are so sweet. Ok…I'm out of here. I'll give you some privacy. Call me if you need help. I'll be at the nurse station." Said Sarah walking to the door.

"Oh…I forgot…you can put some underwear on her. She won't be comfortable waking up commando."

"Thanks Sarah. I will. See you later."

The door closed and Jane took a deep breath. It was just the two of them now.

"Well…she seems to be ok. I like her. She thinks I'm your fianceè so I like her more. " said Jane with a chuckle. The detective looked at the basin and the sponge. She caressed Maura's cheek again with a slightly trembling hand. She bent down, kissed Maura on the forehead and said:" Ok, sweety. Time to get clean. I'll go and fill the basin. It's going to be tricky. I bet the floor and the sheets will be soaked when we are finished here." She joked. She just wanted to ease the tension building in the room.

A minute later the detective was back with the basin full of warm water. She put it on the chair and started talking to Maura again while performing her tasks: "Ok…the water is nice and warm. I hope you'll like it. Now we need a few drops of that scented shower gel of yours. I'll confess you...I love it. You always smell like heaven."

She took the sponge in her hands. It was soft. She put it in the water to soak and looked at Maura again. She was going to start with her face. She took the sponge in her trembling hand and squeezed it. Then gently eased it on Maura's face.

"Sweety, now I'm going to wash your face with this nice sponge. It seems soft." She bathed her face and never stopped talking to Maura like she was there, awake and partecipating: " You know…you really are beautiful…I've been so foolish. I've lost so much time. I just chicken out I guess. I should have told you how beautiful you are. Inside and out. I look at you and I fall in love with you a little bit more every day. I should have told you all this before. Now it's easy…you can't hear me. But now it can be too late. You probably don't want aything to do with me anymore."

She washed Maura's face and neck and then took a towel to dry her pale skin with infinite care.

She throw the sponge in the basin again and grasped the hem of the sheet covering Maura between her fingers, carefully lowering it a bit and uncovering Maura's chest. "Ok sweety, I lowered the sheet so I can wash your chest. You're naked underneath this sheet. I'm sorry…but don't worry, I won't peek." Said Jane with a chuckle, trying to lighten the mood with a silly joke. It was so typical of her.

She grasped the sponge, squeezed it and started to caress Maura's body was beautiful. Her full, voluptuous breasts, her flat but feminine stomach…She closed her eyes for a second and then reopened them, ready to complete her job. There was nothing sexual in her exploration of the doctor's body now. She was committing every piece of skin to her memory. She was worshipping every curve of it. She just wanted to convey through her touch how much she loved the woman under her fingertips. It was highly erotic and achingly sweet at the same time.

"I hope you don't mind me doing this. Me seeing you like this. I just wanted you to feel at ease and I thought that maybe if it was me washing you, you would be more comfortable with this all situation. You know…it appears to be confession time so why not tell you everything. As I said before it's easy now…you are asleep."

Jane took a deep breath while brushing Maura's skin with the sponge, then went on: "I dreamed about you, you know? I still do. I dreamed about touching you. About caressing you, about kissing you and about making love to you so many times. I've never had the gut to tell you or to show you how much I loved you. I love you. I still do. So much. I wish I were more like you. More open, more uncensored. I wasted so much time." Jane sighed and sat down throwing the sponge in the basin, an act of frustration and sorrow.

Jane put her head in her hands and whispered: "God Maura…I pray God you don't hate me, I pray you can forgive me for hurting you so much. I pray it's not too late. I need you so much. I want you in every possible way. I hope it's not to late for us, Maura."

She sighed again and fought hard to keep the tears at bay. She took a few second and a few deep breaths to calm herself and then resumed her job. She felt on a rollercoaster of emotions…she felt out of control. It was like she was declaiming a weird, rambling monologue. She needed to focus and calm herself. She used to go to Maura to calm down and recollect. Maura always helped her to put things in prospective. With a touch, a look, a simple word, Maura was able to reassure and give strenght to the rough but sensitive detective. The doctor was her anchor. Now she couldn't count on her support. She needed to be Maura's support.

She took the towel and delicately dried Maura's chest and stomach.

"I can't wash you back sweety, I don't want to hurt you. We'll wash it another day." Jane looked at Maura, deciding how to proceed.

"Now I'm going to wash your legs, ok?"

She moved the sheets away from her right leg, careful not to expose Maura.

She took her sponge once again and started her journey from Maura's thigh to her foot and back.

"I've always dreamed of caressing these legs of yours. They're so minute, so slim and yet so strong. You can dance on your tiptoes, like a butterfly and you can run a marathon. You're so full of surprise. You're so unique. And I fell so lucky to have you in my life Maura. I'm blessed because I had the privilege to meet you. You honoured me. You chose me as your best friend."

Jane quickly dried her right leg and started bathing her left one.

"I guess I didn't do a great job of it. I hurt you so many times. I had sworn to myself I would have protected you. And I failed. I betrayed your trust. I hurt you. You've got scars to prove it. Some of them are on your body." She was slightly brushing Maura's scar now. The one from their little adventure with Sen Say Matta. She kept talking in a low, raspy voice: "New ones will appear…from last night. I should have been there with you. If I hadn't been so coward we could have been together, in bed, last night. And you would have been safe. In my arms."

Jane finished with the doctor's left leg and covered her. She put the sponge in the basin and sat down for a second, still thinking about what she was saying seconds before: "Are you ever going to be in my arms again, Maura?" she breathed in Maura's ear. Was she really waiting, hoping for a reply?

Her question fell unanswered. Maura was still asleep. She kissed her forehead again.

She needed to finish washing her. The water was going to turn cold soon. Jane took a breath and stood up again.

"Sweety, we're almost finished for today. I'm sorry, but I need to wash you between your legs, too, so I can put a pair of fancy, God knows how expensive , designer panties on you"

She slowly pulled the sheet down again and exposed Maura's hips and her red haired centre. She didn't want to look. She didn't want to violate Maura.

Jane took the sponge in her quivering hand and tenderly brushed her hips with the wet soapy sponge.

She soaked the sponge again and lovingly, delicately started to cleanse Maura's sex. She put the sponge in the basin and, for the last time, dried Maura's body. She quickly put a pair of black panties on her. She couldn't refrain from gently brushing Maura's legs with her fingers while doing it. She covered the doctor again. She sat down, taking the M.E. hand in hers and kissing its back tenderly. She was silent for a minute or two, collecting her thoughts and then, like an explosion, she broke down and cried again.

"I'm sorry... I love you Maura. If you will forgive me, if you'll give me, us, a chance I promise you that the next time I'll touch your body it will be while I'm making love to you." She spoke softly, between sobs, easing her head on Maura's left shoulder.

"Are you going to keep your promise?"


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 16

Maura's voice was harsh and very low but melodious nonetheless.

"Of course I'm going to…" Jane naturally answered the question like it was normal, like she always did, but then she realized from whom the voice came and her words died in her throat.

"Maura? Is it you?" she asked rapidly, raising her head from the doctor's shoulder and looking up in the beautiful limpid eyes she knew and loved so much. Jane's voice was raspy and low, emotional.

"Jane" whispered Maura.

"Oh God you're awake! Thank God…" said Jane caressing lightly Maura's face and hair, tears of joy and relief in her brown eyes.

"You're really awake" repeated the detective again with a bright smile on her face, now putting feather like kisses on Maura's forehead, cheeks, eyes, nose…she kissed her everywhere without realizing what she was doing.

"Jane" called Maura again under Jane's kisses assault.

"Yes" answered the detective still caressing the doctor face tenderly.

"Could you give me some water? My throat...is killing me"

"Oh, sorry honey…yeah, of course." Answered Jane jumping up from the chair and immediately getting some water from the bedside table. "How unmedical of you, Maura! Really? Your throat is killing you? No complicated, unutterable words? I'm worried…I should call the doctor" said Jane looking at Maura with a big smile plastered on her mouth.

Maura smiled and then, softly said: "Jane, I'm thirsty. Is this a suitable word?"

"Ok, I'll let it go for now."

Jane poured some water in a plastic glass and took it in her hand. She bended over Maura and gently asked: "Can you move your head a little?"

Maura nodded and Jane cautiously helped her raise her head to drink, tangling her hand in velvety red hair.

"Easy, I don't want to hurt you" she said again, worried.

Maura took a few small sips and then heavily rested her head on Jane's hand, closing her eyes and taking long, slow breaths.

Jane carefully untangled her hand from Maura's hair and, caressing her face lovingly said: "Honey, you need to rest now…you must be exhausted. And I should call the doctor."

"I'm exhausted. But I want to talk with you." Maura said sleepily, fighting a losing battle to stay awake.

"I want…no, I need to talk with you more then you can imagine, believe me. But I want you to get better soon. And I want you to rest. Ok? Let me call the doctor." She said caressing Maura's forehead and cheeks in the meantime.

Maura nodded and then whispered, sleep finally winning the battle: "I want you to keep that promise, Jane."

Jane closed her eyes, emotion having the best of her for a few seconds. Her heart was beating faster, her hands were sweating…she kept caressing Maura and said, her voice now emotional and intense: "Oh God Maura…I want to keep it more than you can ever know…I'm in love with you".

She looked down to see Maura sleeping peacefully. A smile graced her face, her eyes now shining with joy. Maura didn't hate her. There was a good change that she even loved her. Only the thought of it made her soul lighter and her heart burst with love and gratitude.

Jane decided to call the doctor to inform her of Maura's progress. She pushed the button and a few minutes later there was a discreet knock on the door.

Kate green appeared.

"Hi Jane…is everything ok?" she asked getting closer to the bed and looking at the monitor showing Maura's vitals.

"Hi, yes, everything is more then ok. Maura woke up a few minutes ago!" she beamed while explaining what had happened before.

"That's a great news! I told you…she's a fighter! Was she lucid?" asked the doctor smiling, genuinely happy for the patient's improvement.

"Yes, she was…she talked a little and she was thirsty. I helped her and she took a few sips of water. She was exhausted and fell asleep soon after."

"Well…that's more than normal in her condition, considering what she went through. She will be on and off in the next few hours. Don't worry. Just keep her hydrate and make sure she isn't in any pain. Ok?"

"Ok, doctor" assured Jane, watching carefully Maura's chest raise and fall while breathing.

"Good. I'm going to go but please, call me if she wakes up again. I'd like to say hi."

"Don't worry, next time I'll call you sooner."

Kate walked to the door and then turned around one last time: " Hey, Jane…why don't you rest a little while she's sleeping? We don't want you to scare her next time she wakes up, right?"

And she walked away, smiling.

Jane felt tired…very tired. The emotional rollercoaster she rode during the past few hours was taking its toll on her. Maybe sleeping wasn't a bad idea.

She walked to the bathroom and washed her face. Looking in the mirror she saw dark circles under her eyes. – It's a clear sign of lack of sleeping- would say Maura. She chuckled and returned to the bed, taking Maura's hand in hers, carefully.

"Hey honey…your idea of sleeping isn't that bad after all. I'll just close my eyes a little while you're resting, ok?"

She looked at the small cot behind her and then she looked at Maura's warm hand, her skin soft and velvety. She decided she didn't want to let go of that hand.

Jane gingerly rested her head on the mattress, next to the hand she was clasping; she kissed it and closed her eyes: "Sleep well, my love."


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 17

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It was 3 o'clock in the afternoon. Jane was gently snoring, finally relaxed enough to let herself close the eyes and fall asleep. Maura didn't hate her. Maura was going to be okay. And so she was going to be okay. That simple equation was so natural for the detective.

Her head was on the mattress, next to Maura's hand, safely grasped in hers.

Maura woke up to that scene.

Jane's warm breath on her fingers put a spontaneous smile on her face. Jane was still there.

With her. She hadn't left her. Jane hadn't abandoned her even though she had been so mean to her in the previous weeks. She had been so cold and so distant. On the outside, at least. And the worst part was that the brilliant and clever doctor couldn't explain her behaviour even to herself. Or better….she could, she knew what was happening in her head and in her heart, but she hadn't been able to stop it, to reverse that vicious cycle.

In the instants right after Jane's bullet hit Paddy Doyle, Maura had been angry. She felt betrayed. Her best friend had shot her dad. In those moment she hadn't been able to rationalise the events. Jane had been doing her job. Her primary concern had been to protect her collegues. Jane was the most generous, brave and selfless person she had ever known. The detective had felt that her friends were in danger and she had acted on instinct. Everything had happened so fast. And she had lashed out horrible, mean, hurtful words. In the heat of the moment, under pressure and shock, it had been her intention, to hurt Jane the way she was hurting. But then she had looked at the detective's face and she had seen Jane's heart break in her eyes. Hers had broken in that moment, too.

All the anger vanished. Hurt, sorrow and guilt took its place.

She had felt so mean, so guilty. Jane had just acted. Like she had been taught to. She had just been trying to protect her friends. And Maura was her friend. Jane was protecting her, too.

That day, in that warehouse, her world had crashed and it had been her fault.

Jane had been distant, maybe even afraid of her. She seemed intimidated. She didn't dare to say more than a polite hello and an equally polite but cold goodbye.

But in those poor, tentative interactions Maura felt something. She didn't loose her hope. Sometimes she would catch Jane looking at her in a loving, even tender way. It was like the detective wanted to reach for her but didn't know how to anymore. And she felt the same. Her stubbornness, her fear of rejection, her pride, prevented her to move the first step in Jane's direction.

Now, looking at Jane sleeping form she felt so foolish, so incredibly idiotic. She had been a coward. She had lost so much time. She knew Jane better that she knew herself. Jane wasn't going to reach for her. It was her job. Her responsibility and her duty. Jane was hurt. And she liked to lick her wounds in private. Jane felt guilty. She wasn't going to put herself and her pain on the line, on show. She would suffer in silence, waiting for the pain to go away. Someday.

Now it was the right time to made the wrong right. It was time to regain Jane's trust and to conquer her love, to deserve her love.

God knew she loved Jane so much. She had never loved anyone like she loved her; she had for a long time. She was too dumb and maybe too close to Jane to really understand the depth of her feelings for the detective. Their friendship was so deep, so important, so meaningful and so engaging that the line separating it from love had been very thin. Maybe they just made that line up. It had been intangible from the beginning.

It had been pure love from day one. For her at least.

Did Jane feel the same? Did Jane love her in a romantic, physical way or was it just a profound friendly love on her part?

She believed to remember a sentence from Jane, she had said something about wanting to make love to her. But her head was foggy. She couldn't remeber clearly. Had she been she dreaming? Had Jane really said that? And more important, was Jane really feeling that way about her?


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 18

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_Enjoy and please, let me know what you think! _

Maura was deeply in thought but she was having trouble focusing.

The pain was getting worse and worse by the minute even thought she was finding Jane's warm breath and her light snoring extremely comforting. Maura felt safe. Jane was holding her hand, figuratively and physically while she was delicately and unconsciously caressing the detective's fingers with her thumb.

Her shoulder was killing her. Her head was throbbing and breathing was becoming extremely painful.

She was still lost in thoughts and pain when the door opened slowly.

Sarah, the caring, gentle nurse, peeked inside the room, making sure that everything was all right. She instinctively looked at the bed and saw a pair of limpid eyes looking back at her tentatively and wearily.

A big, sincere smile appeared on her face. Then she looked right next to Maura and saw Jane deeply asleep. She entered the room trying to be very quiet in order not to wake the detective up.

She approached the bed and looked at the display showing Maura's vitals. Everything was normal. She looked at Maura and whispered cheerfully: "Hi darling! Nice to meet you! I'm Sarah. How are you?"

Always the lady Maura answered politely, still whispering, but with a smile on her lips, even through the pain she was feeling: "Hi Sarah. I'm Maura. Nice to meet you too. I'm feeling a little pain in my left shoulder. I think it may be broken. My ribs are slightly hurting too. I don't like to assume, but I can reasonably suppose that they are broken too, and my head is sore from the concussion, I think." She was breathing heavily now, beads of sweat were forming on her forehead from the exertion, despite her desire to appear strong and collected.

"Well doctor, you are very professional indeed." Answered the nurse, amused and in awe at the same time. "Your assumptions are correct. Your left shoulder is broken and you have a few broken ribs, too. You also suffered from a slight concussion. I'm giving you something for the pain immediately. I suspect you aren't feeling just a _little_ pain in your shoulder and your ribs aren't _slightly_ hurting." Whispered the nurse with a knowing smile, emphasizing the words little and slightly with her voice and expression.

"You are in a lot of pain, aren't you?" asked Sarah, not expecting an answer. It wasn't necessary.

Maura nodded.

"You should have called me earlier. You don't need to suffer. You'd experienced enough pain for now, you know?" said Sarah while working on Maura's numerous wires and tubes.

She always talked to her patients while treating them, she usually explained them what she was doing to try and put them at easy, to reassure them. She knew that Maura was perfectly aware of the procedures she was performing on her but she decided to talk nonetheless. It was a habit. A mean to create a relation and a bond with her patients, to establish trust and empathy between herself and them.

"Ok Maura. Now, I'm going to change your I.V.. I'm going to replace the transfusion with an antibiotic one and I'm going to give you a painkiller so you'll be more comfortable."

"Thanks" Maura whispered, never stopping to caress Jane's fingers but minding the tube of the I.V. the nurse was fixing.

Sarah went on, obviously noticing the entwined hands. Professionally speaking, she wanted to make sure that Maura was perfectly lucid and that the concussion was under control; personally speaking, she had liked these two women from the first she saw them. She didn't know them but she admired their strenght, their loyalty to one another, their connection, their love. Their were so different and so similar at the same time, strong but fragile, tough but caring and sweet, brave, honest, generous…their love was so palpable, their bond so deep. So she whispered: "You know, your fianceè here must love you very much. She hasn't left your side since she came here last night. I think she hasn't eaten yet. She didn't use the cot after all but I see she's finally asleep. That's good. And she gave you her blood. It's so romantic. You are very lucky."

When the nurse pronounced the word fianceè, Maura wanted, for a brief second, to correct her. Out of habit and not for a real need or desire to rectify the woman's belief. She politely refrained from interrupting her to correct the simple word… her heart simply didn't want to. _Fianceè._ That sounded so good in her ears. She wasn't able to lie, but the morally unimpeachable Maura Isles was not lying…she was just chosing to omit an insignificant detail. She wasn't Jane fianceè. But she wished with all her might that she woud have the honor to call herself that. Soon. So, in the end, she was just silently expressing a wish. She was safe from hives.

Then she heard the rest of the nurse talk and processed the meaning of the older woman's words. Tears started forming in her eyes while her heart could burst from happiness.

"I'm very lucky indeed. And I love her so much." She whispered a few seconds later. She had admitted for the first time her love for Jane to someone that wasn't Bass. She had spoken it out loud and guess what? The world was still spinning and the sky was still blue. But she felt so incredibly light, happy and safe.

Could she dare to believe that Jane was really in love with her?

"Ok sweety…I'm finished here. Doctor Lewis should be here soon to see you. If you need something feel free to push the button and ask, ok? And if you need more painkiller let me know. You don't need to be uncomfortable or in pain if we can prevent it." She gently touched Maura's shoulder and went to the door. She had almost reached it when she turned around, slapping her hand slightly on her forehead.

"Oh…I forgot. There is a delivery for you outside."

"From who?" asked Maura curiously.

"I'm not sure but, looking from the kind of delivery and the colour, I think you could safely make an assumption." Sarah said exiting the room with a bright smile.

She was back two minute later with a big bouquet of beautiful red roses and Maura's face lit up.

"Jane." The name of the woman she loved was immediately on her lips.


End file.
